There are moments in my life I will never forget. Wedding, births, loss of a child, joyful first steps, and a million moments in between.
All week I was consumed with an ache in my stomach and worry on my face.
We were preparing to go test our youngest for an genetic illness that would change his life forever. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, with tears sliding down silently to the pillow, into the early hours of morning.
I mentally prepared to change direction, walk away from my work, and focus on his care. I felt assured my message of empowering women, building community and lifting each other up would be carried on beautifully by my Blissful Family. I built a company on doing the most good for the most people, and have surrounded myself with smart women; I would leave it all in excellent hands. I had peace.
Thursday was spent wringing my hands and waiting at Vanderbilt. I pretended I was OK. I laughed, I joked, I sent silly Tweets. I desperately wanted a corner to hide in and cry.
The test result was in, I fearfully answered the call and I will never forget that moment. He is fine. As I type the words to share with you, my sweet friends, I cry.
My days are packed with so much. The sweetness of snuggling the littlest boys. The struggle of discipline with the older boys. The tug-of-war and reconciliation of marriage. The constant struggle to find enough time in the day to work. Combined with my devotion to shirking household duties and skipping showers, I live in a whirlwind. These moments cause the whirlwind to stop, and I refocused on the good.
Have you had a moment where everything stopped? Where you saw things clearly for the first time in who-knows-how-long?
I am blessed. I’ve been given more than I could ever deserve. I never want to lose sight of that again.
Don’t let the tyranny of the urgent keep you distracted.
How are you blessed?
I would love to hear.
xo, Alli
{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
What a beautiful post! And in true Alli fashion, even though this is your space, you don’t want it to be all about you.
I’m blessed to have two happy, healthy (if not at this very moment, but generally) children. I’m blessed to have a lifemate I can completely be myself around. And I’m blessed because even though I feel like the four of us could weather anything, we’ve been incredibly lucky and haven’t had to test that out.
Selfish Mom´s last blog ..Spending my birthday with guac and Legos
Aw shucks!
I obviously don’t know what you were testing for but so happy you got good results.
I am incredibly blessed. Yesterday after giving a cliff notes version on of my life to someone I had long ago lost touch with but recently reconnected with via facebook that on paper it seems like I should be dissatisfied by my life. It is so far from what I thought I wanted it to be that I should be apologetic that it isn’t MORE. But I realized that I am incredibly happy with my life as is. I might not be doing what I thought was important when I set those goals but I wouldn’t change much of anything. I spent a lot of years caring for other peoples families, putting their children first, putting their families back together – my family certainly deserves this time to be front and center in my priority list. We are healthy, happy, together, safe, and surviving financially in these tough times. We are starting to build a life here in TN – making friends, putting down roots, etc. What more could I possibly ask for?
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Oh honey, as I sit here reading, I’m crying with you. It’s scary to not know. I’m a “knower”, meaning I’m a mess until I know. I hate not to know. But I’m also blessed.
Last year, just a few days from today (October 31st to be exact), my niece went into the hospital and didn’t come back out until January 15th. She had a heart transplant at only six years old. We count the blessed days. We laugh and get excited that she tries our patience, shows her sassy mouth, and has temper tantrums because last year, when the snow started to fall and Thanksgiving was spent in an ICU watching this beautiful girl begin to run out of time in a sleep induced coma, we didn’t think she’d ever do those things again. We were watching her die and our hearts cried.
We realize what had to happen in order for Zoe to stay with us was nothing short of a miracle and that a family gave selflessly in order for us have our selfish prayer answered.
You, mamma, are blessed. Your babies are blessed to have you. We are blesssed and we are all blessed to have our babies in our arms, growing and smiling and trying our patience, every day.
You have my prayers, my thoughts and my best wishes that you will always be blessed in every way.
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i am so thankful for you that it all turned out well! praise God!
i am so blessed too. my children are Healthy! they are Alive! i have a family who loves me and a wonderful husband who has weathered storms with me.
melissa stover´s last blog ..Lisa Leonard designs
My, where do I begin?
I have had a few of those moments recently.
~ In May, my sister in law was diagnosed with Breast cancer and choose radical mastectomy and chemo.
~ In July, my father passed away with me singing Amazing Grace at his bed side.
~ In September, some dear friends’ home of 30 years burned to the ground in a matter of minutes.
It seems that is often in those “life and death” moments that make us, me anyway, step back and say…. “Wow… I am so blessed”
First and foremost I am blessed because I have a personal relationship with my God who sent His son to save me from the destructiveness of myself.
I am blessed because I have friends who, no matter what, would pick up the phone and cry with me at 2 o’clock in the morning.
I am blessed because I have a 2 happy and healthy children who are a daily reminder that miracles do happen.
I am blessed because I live my life with purpose and passion. A purpose and a passion that only God can give and sustain in me.
I am blessed because I may not have everything I want, but as long as I have my faith, my family and my friends, I have everything I need.
I could go on and on. But those are the things that come to the top of my head.
Thanks for letting me share.
Your friend in domestic bliss or not,
Mellisa McJunkin
Amen!
Alli – wonderful for you and your family that the test results came back with the results you wanted. I know that feeling and it is terrible. You can’t breathe and you can’t think about anything else for a single minute. I was that way when some *idiot* Mom tried to convince me that my son was autistic. I had a week of absolute unrelenting 24 X 7 panic until I finally got up the courage to ask the Pediatrician. Then he looked at my son, who was sitting in his lap, climbing over him like a little money, and just laughed. “This kid, autistic? Are you kidding me?” That was all I needed to hear to get my world back.
Adrian´s last blog ..My First MamaKat post
My heart goes out to you having to endure that seemingly endless wait… I think I can relate. This post of mine says it all I think.
I am blessed because my son too is fine. And each day is precious, and we must always remember that.
You are blessed to have this day to look back on. When the times are hard you have this moment to look back on to regain your perspective. Thank God for that.
Mom of Three´s last blog ..Flashback Friday – Music Marks the Generation
Gave you a fist bump on Twitter for this great news.
how am i blessed? Oh, I can’t even begin to list my blessings, they are so many. On Sept 30, one of my dear friends who was only 42 lost her battle with cancer. She left behind a loving husband, 2 daughters, a granddaughter, and a legacy of faith. Her death has made me slow down and appreciate my blessings even more.
I woke up this morning at 3:00 from a bad dream (BAD, BAD dream) and laid next to my sleeping daughter thanking God for the frustrations of a 2 year old. i end my days in exhaustion, emotionally and physically. But I am thankful for a healthy, happy, normal 2 year old. I am thankful for my husband, even though he is a big baby when he’s sick. I’m thankful that I can stay home and focus on being a wife and a mom even though we live on a very limited budget.
God is good, and I am so very thankful.
Alli, love you.
Heather @ Not a DIY Life´s last blog ..Bible Verse Craft – G
So glad to hear that the test’s came back negative!
I can’t read that without thinking of my little blessing with my now 6yo. When he was 3 his body was breaking down and the dr’s couldn’t find a cause nor solutions. He had open sores on his head/body, he was lethargic, he was bleeding internally. It was so scary. We finally went to a specialist in St. Louis who took one look at him and said, “He’s fine.” Apparently he had Peri anal Streptococcus (Strep Butt) for almost 3 years and his body just couldn’t take the infection anymore. We had never heard of it and apparently a lot of doctors don’t check ‘there’ for strep.
Seeing him now, you’d never know he was such a limp noodle. Thanks for reminding me to keep my blessings at the forefront of my mind. Have a great weekend, Alli!
Jenny 867-5309´s last blog ..Saturday morning reading
Yes. I have had several of those moments in my life, and while part of me wishes I had never had them, I know I am a better person because of them. I am so happy to hear that your little one is ok, and I keep praying for him and your family.
By the way, Vanderbilt is by far the best children’s hospital I’ve ever seen in all our world travels, my son was operated there 3 years ago when we lived in Tennessee.
Katja of Skimbaco´s last blog ..Jimmy Choo at H&M – Wait is Almost Over
that was an incredible post. I am sitting here waiting to take Sassy to the police station to report a stalker. It has shaken me to the core, and when I look back on conversations from the past few months, I should have KNOWN she was trying to say something.
parents, listen to what they SAY and what they Don’t say.
and, my heart is happy for you- and your loves.
My DS has Asperger’s Syndrome, ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and bilateral hearing loss. 6 Years ago in the midst of a barrage of diagnoses, I felt overwhelmed and questioned: Why us? Life seemed so difficult and unfair. And then came the years of therapies and fighting with schools & insurance companies. It wasn’t until my son was in crisis mode 2 yrs ago, that I quit my job and moved my family to another state – more suitable for his needs. When that happened, everything fell into place. And I realized that God hadn’t forgotten about us. God was guiding us. He was helping our family every step of the way. And today, I feel so blessed to have embraced His guidance. I feel so blessed to have my son in my life. -He may not be typical, but he is extraordinary. And I truly feel today that every day is a blessing and a gift. (If we had stayed and done nothing, he may not be with us today.)
Remember – even the darkest days can be a call to courage and a blessing from God.
KnitPurlGurl´s last blog ..Saturday Word Wall – Scary Things
What a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us all. <3
This post gave me chills. I’m so happy for you and your good news. It takes the hard times (or worry of) to remember the how great we really do have it, doesn’t it? I am blessed to have learned this over the last year and can now fully appreciate what a blessing and miracle a family really is…
kspin´s last blog ..My Entourage
I am beyond thrilled for you. I worried for you when I knew you were waiting for results and I rejoice with you knowing your sweet boy is just fine. What wonderful, peaceful knowledge.
I am blessed in so many ways, I would take up too much space to list them all, but I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful, healthy children and amazing, supportive friends.
Sending hugs!
xoxo
ExtraordinaryMommy´s last blog ..Catch up on your favorite shows on FANCAST
So very thankful to read this wonderful report…I can only imagine your mama-relief! Nothing can penetrate our hearts like “scary things” associated with our babies….and I celebrate with you the results of Baby J’s testing. Sometimes life circumstances can pour all the perspective-checks we need, huh?
{{hugs & thanksgiving prayers}}
Robin ~ PENSIEVE´s last blog ..A little party of sorts
So happy to hear that your results came out just fine. Those moments can be so horrifying.
I’m blessed in far to many ways to count here. When I began my journey into adult-hood, I had no idea where I was going, what I was going to do, or just how many blessing I did have. The begininning was very scary for me, and I’ve just now begun to accept it, and share, and realize just how blessed I really was. (Here is a link to my post.) So very thankful that I am now at a point in my life that I recognize my blessings. I have a wonderful husband that loves me for who I am, a 3 beautiful children that are perfect.
I couldn’t ask for more!
Blessings to you and your family!
Wow, Alli! What a week you have had! I was holding my breath throughout the post until I found out the outcome–I can only imagine how you must have felt! Thank you for sharing.
I have had a similar sense lately that I need to stop and see what is right in front of me. As the lyrics in Beautiful Boy say: “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”
In fact I just wrote about it yesterday: http://www.chachingonashoestring.com/2009/10/23/living-large-starts-by-living-small/
I am a blessed woman.
Kaley @ Cha-Ching on a Shoestring´s last blog ..The Cha-Ching Challenge: $4049.11 YTD
Oh my, I’m so happy all is well. I had a similar night of tears when we had my son tested for cancer…he was exhibiting all the symptoms. It turned out to be Lyme’s disease, praise God.
Cheryl@SomewhatCrunchy´s last blog ..I Wanna Go To Friendly’s! – A Giveaway
oh alli! what an answer to prayer! i’m so glad your precious little guy is all good!
love you, girl.
monica (peapodsquadmom)´s last blog ..CD Review: Joshua Bell’s “At Home With Friends”
I’ve had so many of those moments lately Alli.
Three months ago, when I was diagnosed with skin cancer, a month ago when my husband was in danger of losing his job, a week ago when I rushed my little boy to the Urgent Care with a huge gash on his forehead.
I get it God!
Connie @ Young and Relentless´s last blog ..A Dirty Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste
Your heart must be so relieved! Oh Ally, I’m so glad for you. I am blessed so greatly I wouldn’t know where to begin!
Big things: I am alive! I get to mother four incredible children, my son Noah was diagnosed to a life of epilepsy only to be 5 years seizure free next week! I have seen the hand of God work in my life. I know He
loves me and cares about the desires of my heart.
Little things: I dropped my iPhone last night and got the white screen of death (this is my 3rd phone) and I prayed it would be ok and I look and it’s all better! See- I’m commenting from it right now!
So blessed.
Steph
I am blessed to have a happy, healthy daughter & husband.
I am so glad to hear your little one is okay!
Again, Again, a thousand times again! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!
rachel-asouthernfairytale´s last blog ..Spreading the Knowledge: Tara’s Story
I’ve had several of these over the years…it really is grounding.
So glad he’s okay. Sooooooooooooo glad.
xoxox
Christine´s last blog ..The Wagons Are Circling Around Roman Polanski
That is the worst kind of fear a mother can ever know. Such an amazing relief to read that everything’s okay. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
I, too, have so many things in my life to be thankful for. Health and safety of my loved ones tops the list, and I’m thankful for all the opportunities and second chances I’ve been granted in my time.
Mary@Everyday Baby Steps´s last blog ..Awesome Plus Size Accessories
I am so relieved for you and thrilled and overjoyed, not just by this post but by the comments that you have already received.
Life is not always easy, but it is in the difficult moments where we grow – and I am a believer that every experience, no matter how trying, how frustrating, how much it breaks-us-down, allows us to build back up and move on to make changes, make differences and do it better.
Much Love to you and your beautiful fam -
xoxo Sarah
Hey. Just wanted to say how much it meant to me that you DM’d me last week when my son broke his arm and wanted to know how to pray. I so wish I could have known that I needed to be returning the favor for you! Instead, I will rejoice with you now and praise the Creator who knew just what you needed. Hugs!
Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae´s last blog ..Repeating Myself
(hugs)
Thank you my sweet friend!
So glad everything is OK…BIG sigh of relief for you. Hugs…
Waiting for big test results myself on Tuesday. Glad he is ok!
Yay!! That is beyond fantastic news. The best blessings we can have are our family. My kids and my husband – those are my blessings – just as yours are for you.
Marilyn (A Lot of Loves)´s last blog ..Quieting my Halloween Grinch
I’ve been having those moments lately. Brother is battling ALS. It’s affecting our whole family, not just his wife and children.
I’m still floundering on how to deal with it.
What a blessing your child is going to be fine. Remember to breathe and enjoy those blessings.
Todd Jordan´s last blog ..Dungeons and Dragons comes to Facebook
Oh Todd, I am so sorry. I will add your family to my prayers. Thank you for sharing. xo
A great post and excellent question. Something we should all ask ourselves, every day. How am I blessed? I could take all day to answer, but then I wouldn’t get anything done. Suffice it to say, I am blessed with a loving family, fantastic friends, a safe and comfortable home, work I like doing and a million other things.
Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt´s last blog ..Friday Finds – Oct. 23, 2009
Today, as my husband lays in bed, coughing, eyes watering, and ill next to my sweet three-year-old Lilli, burning with fever, I am blessed to have friends in life who willingly answer my calls for prayer. Activated within minutes, twitter, email and text, I had responses from those going to worship, and some that choose to in their homes, sounding the call.
Who knew, in January when I pushed the button to “register” for Blissdom, this world of virtual friendship be there to help me feel relief. I know that the prayers will be answered, and I trust that knowledge because He answers our calls when we pause to lift them up.
I’m so glad all is well with your son.
I am blessed by wonderful husband, two great kids, supportive parents & friends. All these beautiful people make all the good things in my life possible.
Me? I’m blessed with two amazing kids and a husband I adore. But also, I am blessed to count people like you among my close friends. So I guess that makes me blessed all the way around…and I love that about my life. xoxoxo
I can only imagine the joy and thanksgiving in your heart as you wrote this.
The blessing I have been most “aware” of lately is my husband. As a wife, I know I must be terribly high-maintenance and annoying. I can’t imagine anyone else putting up with me, but my husband still treats me like I’m the hot mama he thought he married (which all evidence of has been erased by 8 pregnancies and too many years of not exercising). He even supports my expensive photography addiction.
Last weekend we celebrated our anniversary and he took me out for dinner and a movie, and then surprised me with a night away from home (my 12yod managed to pack a bag for me). The next day he even took me shopping!
My hubby flew out of state today for his grandfather’s funeral, and I’m missing him something awful.
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Whew. So glad things turned out well. We are blessed here. Very blessed. Blessed to the point of almost holding our breaths. The good thing is I see it and appreciate it. The bad thing is that I can’t explain why.
A big lump in my throat as I read this, my friend. So very glad to hear all is well. Even the most harrowing moments can turn out lovely, when they give us laser-focus to the *true* importance in our lives. Hugs to you!
New here…but wanted to say I am also so glad that your son’s test came back with a good result. What awful moments those must have been. What relief now!
Blessings are numerous. And I feel, as you said, I deserve none of them, and hope that tomorrow I can be more grateful than I was today (you didn’t say that last part…that was me.)
beautiful post! beautiful child! beautiful blessings! i am so thankful for your good news just as i am thankful for your inspiration last weekend.
how am i blessed? oh i could go on and on….
mostly i am blessed with the most amazing people around me.
a hubs who loves me in spite of me
five great kids who clearly have EXHAUSTED guardian angels since three of them have already had near death experiences to prematurely age me and count my blessings all the more.
the most delicious, amazing, smart, funny, red-headed grand daughter on the planet
the bestest friend ever who made me a big bowl of chicken soup when she learned that i am still stuck in bed sick with the SITScation flu
those are the current blessings i can relfect on.
thanks for reminding us all to count these blessings today
Laura Scarborough´s last blog ..still in Vegas
So thankful to hear that things are “FINE!” Fine is music to a mama’s ears, right?
I am so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by 4 miracles (quadruplets) who were given a slim chance at surviving the first trimester…second trimester…third…and then premature birth…and here we are over 2 and 1/2 years later and they are bringing joy in my life every single day!
Blessed to TEARS!
Praise God for the good report Alli. Every day is a gift, our good health is our greatest asset that we can’t take for granted. I’ve had a couple of close encounters with death and that has changed my life forever. So grateful to be here, to make a difference and blessed to be a blessing back. [Hugs friend]
@duongsheahan
duong sheahan´s last blog ..Why I Switched to Alcohol Free and Poison Free Hand Sanitizers
Sweet Alli, I’ve been traveling all week so just saw this post now. I am so happy for you, I literally teared up at this incredible news. God is so good, truly!
Mary´s last blog ..MaryMassey: @AudreyMcClellan Ewew, that’s terrible!
Oh, Alli, I am just so happy for you.
What a relief! What a way to open your heart up so wide to call attention to all the blessings in your life. I am so happy for you and your family. Praise God!
My husband is in the Army and was away for several weeks, but returned Friday. (YAY!) When I woke up on Saturday morning, I made coffee and then we snuggled with our eight month old (with our yellow lab at the foot of the bed). It doesn’t get any better. How could it?
My husband will be here for a few weeks, then he will be leaving for 9 months, so I am cherishing all these wonderful memories together.
Counting every blessing. Including yours!
Warmly,
Amy
Click Clack Mom´s last blog ..Must Have Mondays–Travel
What wonderful news!
Gretchen´s last blog ..Camera Critters #81 or I have truly lost my mind
How difficult to go through this, but what sweet relief! I’m so thankful for you that everything came back fine. I love what you wrote “the tyranny of the urgent”. It’s good to have these moments where the truly important things come back into sharp focus.
BlueCastle´s last blog ..Kitchen Reveal
I am so very happy for you that your little ones’ test results came out just fine. What a huge relief for your family! And let’s see…what am I grateful for? I am grateful that I have met you and been able to communicate with such a fabulous wonderwoman! Thanks Girlfriend!!
bermudabluez´s last blog ..Halloween Tips for our Four Legged Friends
My first time reading your blog (although I’ve known OF you!) and I am crying! So, so happy that your results were good. What a sweet little face!
Yes, time stopped for me when my mom died. I remember standing in a store getting something for the funeral and thinking…what are all of these people DOING? Time has stopped…why are they just going about their business? It was like living in a parallel universe.
PS…thank you for commenting on my Blissfully Domestic post today. You made me feel famous!
how wonderful.
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